Strawberries and Cream Sandwich

FamilyMart - ¥320 - Served Cold

Psychedelic use amongst members of the food industry has a long and well documented history, which there is no need to rehash here.

When the foodologists at FamilyMart Japan returned from their latest business trip, they brought with them one of the most unwelcome sandwich recipes to ever exist.

The Strawberries and Cream Sandwich has all the joy of Strawberries and the saturated fats you've come to expect from Cream, with the unwelcome texture of bread.

Surely if you can put two pieces of bread around this beloved desert and call it a sandwich then any food can be sandwich-ized.

Some may say that this represents the final death-throws of a culture that has run out of new ideas, others would be wrong. In the meantime readers are urged to keep two pieces of bread on them at all times.

Author's Notes: 
Contents of Pandora's Lunchbox: Carb-Un-Load (Potato and Laxative Sandwich), Hair of the Dog (Jack Daniels and Dog Meat Sandwich, Sandwich and Sandwich Sandwich (for sandwich and recursion enthusiasts).

Ham and Cheese Sandwich

FamilyMart - NT$25 - Served Cold

In an act of breathtaking industrial espionage the perverts at FamilyMart have stolen and reverse engineered 7eleven's famous Ham and Cheese Sandwich.

The once balanced and sensuous design now replaced by a bombastic, egocentric and decadent 5 slices of bread and sickening 2 pieces of ham! A classic case of more being less.

This new configuration completely disrupts the flavor continuum put in place by the expert food scientists at 7eleven. In it's place we have a sandwich that tastes like a piece of cardboard smeared in pig excrement.

 3.5/5 Stars

Author's Notes: Cargo cult sandwich making that - in the broader context of world events - can only be seen as yet another sign of impending societal collapse.